Posted by Tim Stobbs on May 18, 2012
I once heard someone say that disappointment exists between expectations and reality. I think that is a very true statement I tend to keep close to my heart during, for example, my birthday this month.
I’ve tried over last number of years to keep my expectation around gifts in check by not expecting anything at all. Thus I avoid disappointment over something I thought I ‘deserved‘ for some reason when I don’t get it. I’ve also realized there is an additional upside of expecting nothing: I’m very touched by every little gesture people do for me.
I had mentioned a week early that I was taking off a Friday for my birthday at work. I was then touched that several people wished me a happy birthday as I was leaving on Thursday. It isn’t much of anything, but I noticed as I get older I care less about the stuff of birthdays but more about the acknowledgement of the day. I would rather get five wishes of ‘happy birthday’ than six cards any day of the week.
I also had an odd experience this year as I was asked by my wife what I wanted for my birthday. My first response: a complete and utter blank look. Nothing came into my head at all for a while. I had at that moment no wants (for the record, yes it felt sort of zen like). It was only after paying attention to my life for a few weeks did a few little things come to me that I would enjoy: like a sample set of teas (from David’s Tea), a new set of workout clothes (my old pair is like 10 years old) and two DVDs.
So the big day arrived and guess what I’m thrilled with my day: no work, a good meal planned at home (all appetizer supper) and a nice bottle of wine to go with. Perhaps I’m getting a little more wiser as I get older and I realize: I don’t need much to be happy in life. It’s not to say I don’t enjoy the odd restaurant meal out, but I rather prefer a more causal meal at home with my family when I get to do some cooking (which I enjoy).
So has your birthday celebrations changed as you got older? What did you start doing and what have you stopped doing?
Posted by Tim Stobbs on May 16, 2012
I’m currently trying an experiment on myself, which involves feeling guilty and a pair of shoes. But first I should provide a little background on this tale. I used to be runner a long time ago, actually in fact I used to be fairly damn good at 400m track race and I even used to run for exercise while in university for a while. Yet like a lot of things in life I changed and stopped doing it.
That all came to an end last week because I bought those damn guilty shoes.
But Tim, do you ever feel guilty? Goodness sake, you are planning to leave the workforce in just 8 more years. How on earth can you not feel guilt for that and worry about a damn pair of running shoes?
Well in this case, I would call it: structured guilt. I want to get back into some more healthy habits like running. After all if you don’t have your health who cares if you got another 20 extra years of retirement. So to achieve that end, I went out a bought a good pair of running shoes and the helpful advice of a store clerk who was willing to ask me all the right questions and present me with the only pair of running shoes in the entire store that would fit me (I have wide feet, so this happens to me a fair bit).
The problem was the price tag: $170 including tax. For running shoes? Yes. Shoes Tim? Yes. You sure? *sigh* Yes.
Needless to say that blew my little old $100 dollar budget right to hell. Then of course my friend who also runs, I told this tale to, so he keeps asking me if I’m running. Then I told a few people at work that I’m doing this and they ask. Then of course I way blew my budget and keep asking myself “Tim, if you paid a $170 dollars for these damn shoes, do you really think the excuse of ‘I don’t feel like’ is going to fly? Go for your run!”. Thus the term: structured guilt. If I don’t go for my run I have to face the fact I wasted that money, and tell several people about it. Now I’ve even told all of you, which will increase the guilt if I don’t use those shoes.
So that is my little tale of the guilty shoes. No malls were involved with sighs as I found the perfect pair of shoes that I just had to have. Instead the guilt exists only in my mind to get my butt out of the door at least four times a week. The good news is for a change of pace this does seem to be working, the next trick will be to keep it up until the habit forms in my head.
So have you ever used guilt to change a habit? Did it work or not?
Posted by Dave on May 15, 2012
This is a guest post by Dave, who is also looking to retire no later than 45, but unlike Tim has no kids and doesn’t want any. Dave is from Ontario and is working towards his CGA certification.
This article may or may not interest our American readers, as it deals with our Canadian government systems and their debts.
I get really angry sometimes at our various forms of government. In the fall, I wrote a letter to my local city councilor – asking how the city could be building large capital projects (city funded) while running consecutive deficit budgets (I still haven’t received a reply). I don’t really understand how our elected officials have decided that the best use of taxpayer money is building an ice rink in front of city hall when they are in this type of financial situation – this would be like my wife trying to tell me that it would be a really good idea to buy a second car after we found out I was being laid off.
Then, you look at our National Debt – which is now growing exponentially. My tax dollars are going to pay for interest on deficits that our governments (at various levels) have continued to rack up year after year. If I was to ask the departments of finance why they think this is a good idea, I’m sure I would get a response back that they have “no choice” – revenues are not coming in to support the necessary expenses in this down economy.
The problem I see, which is very similar to what a lot of households is that there is always going to be seemingly “necessary” expenses that are going to come up. As an individual, if I continuously racked up deficit after deficit, eventually someone (a bank or other creditor) is going to put a stop to my feverish spending. In the current climate, nobody is really telling the government to stop racking up the debt (well maybe other than me), something I don’t really understand.
I think that, much like an individual who is not willing to change their lifestyle to reflect their finances, our government is paying for stuff that we as a country can’t afford. There is really no incentive for the Government to cut spending, as the next party who wants to get elected is going to give back what was cut (and probably more). In Ontario this February, there was a massive report released stating exactly what the government needed to do to “right” the economic boat. The report basically boiled down to what I would tell any individual who was having money problems…stop spending and pay off your debt (It was promptly ignored).
I’m not sure what the solution to our country’s problems are. What I do know is that we’ve tried throwing money at it, and that doesn’t seem to be making life any easier – perhaps we should try something else? All I know is I am attempting to get out of debt as quickly as possible, with the incentive being that I will gain some additional control over my finances. I don’t know why our government doesn’t see it the same way.
So, that’s my rant. I realize that Canada has done alright in comparison to other countries, I would like them to do better though and to fix the financial problems that they don’t seem overly concerned with. Perhaps my argument is oversimplified – do you agree with our government’s current deficit spending? Would you do the same thing with your personal finances?
