I recently borrowed a book from the library that focuses on the neurotic habits of writers.  It is interesting to see that some writers like to write in empty rooms and alone, while others do it on ships, coffee shops and middle of living rooms with kids around.  Then some people have quirks all the way down to writing a first draft in pen with a specific brand of pen and the colour of the paper (apparently yellow is often used for drafts).  Of course while reading this I started to realize some of my own neurotic habits around writing.  So in the interest of some entertainment of how things work to generate this blog I present: my neurotic head.

I keep a small black moleskin notebook with me most of the time to write down random ideas for blog posts. Everything from noting an interesting survey on TFSA’s where 92% of people didn’t get all five questions correct to wondering if the decay of the financial standing of the US will lead civilization’s downfall.  Perhaps at best half of the ideas get used.  The other half are often too short of a post or get lost in the idea bank.  I consider writing for the blog more habit than difficult and generating ideas take no effort at all. Yet I will go out of my way and invent things to do avoid writing other things, but I will always write for the blog (unless I’m sick).    Somehow I find the other writing more stressful than blog (even including the book based on the blog, ironic eh?).

To warm up some days for some writing I’ll open a file and just type what ever happens to come into my head for ten minutes.  I often have a candle lit near me because I find the smell and the motion of the flame soothing.  I prefer to write early in the morning because I enjoy the quiet of the house.  Yet I can also write with the kids less than 10 feet away and playing.

I’m terrified at times at having success with my writing, like some how having a huge blog or a decent selling book would create expectations that I couldn’t live up to.  I often wonder if I’m a fraud for having the readership I currently do on this blog.  It’s like the feeling that you, the readers, can’t possibly be interesting my opinion of personal finance.  I’m just some guy from the prairies with a wife, two kids and a crazy dream.  I have often doubted that anything I’ve ever written was even good, despite the assurances of many others that at least parts of it are good.

I get downright bitchy if I don’t have some time to myself each week and it will even show up in my writing if I fail to get away for an hour.  The post/page will lose a certain readability that occurs with my better writing.  Interestingly enough I can handle negative feedback fine at work on my writing, but are more sensitive about my other writing.

So that’s a snap shot of my neurotic head.  So if you have any doubts, yes all writers, including bloggers have their habits and odd beliefs around their work.  It just comes with the job.  So if you do any writing, what are your habits around it?  Do you have a chair you love or an item near by when it do it?  Or can you write on post it notes in the bathroom?

Ugh, I’m tired.  I finished my first full school board meeting last night.   Of course most of the board is new this year so we ask lots of questions and hence the meeting started at 7pm and went to just after 10 pm.  I wish that was the only reason I’m tired, but my board related duties started at 11:30 am.

The day started at a luncheon I attended that was put on the local Chamber of Commerce who in partnership with the school board and the Martin Foundation (started by no other than Paul Martin one of our ex-prime ministers) were starting a new program focusing on business/entrepreneurship skills for aboriginal students.  So I got to meet two SK cabinet ministers (including the Minister of Education), the mayor, two city councilors and of course Paul Martin.  Not a bad way to start off as this board’s first official public event we had attended.

Lunch was then followed by a tour of the inner city high school where the program will be started and a round table discussion on aboriginal issues around education like high dropout rate, low parent involvement, adapting material and methods to aboriginal culture and a host of others topics.  We also had the elders advisory council there and students to provide some honest discussion on what’s wrong and what’s seems to be working.

What stuck me the most about this round-table was the fact that most of the people who spoke obviously really cared about these issues.  We often think our elected officials are only concerned about getting elected again, but I saw a group of people that honestly are trying to do their best to improve the lives of others.

Then later that night at the board meeting I met most of the senior administration staff for the school division.  So of course, but this time I’ve given up trying to recall every one’s name and face and accept I can’t meet 30 new people in one day and keep them straight.  Then we reviewed the current strategic plan, the budget, the enrollment numbers and of course did some real work on some personnel issues.

So I’m tired, but I’ve learned some very important things:

1. This job will not be easy.  It will require a lot from me and likely more time than I originally would have guessed for the first six months or so until I’m a bit more up to speed.  I also have a whole new respect for elected officials.
2. I’m actually enjoying myself more than I would have guessed.  I’ve always liked learning new things so getting tossed into a completely different field has been interesting.  Yes it’s work but I’m happy doing it.
3. I don’t even care that much about how much I’m being paid.  Frankly I don’t need the money, so this is giving me a little taste of the potential of being financially independent.  I’m doing this because I want to, not for the income.

So that’s my first updated on the job, who knew this would be a good testing ground for the concept of work without care for the pay.  So have you ever had a job that you did just because because you loved it and not the pay?  If so, what was it?

Personal finance is an interesting place to spend your time in study.  There’s the obvious side of things, the cold hard numbers of what we should do.   It’s the place of interest rates and savings plans on neat spreadsheets. Then there is the emotional side of the numbers, the illogical and strangely self reflective part that will either keep you saving more than you should or spending more than you earn regardless of what the spreadsheet says you should do.  That second side is where the heart of personal finance really is and that is where I recently determined: I’m ashamed of being wealthy.

Yes, it’s true.  Well sort of, actually I’m ashamed of appearing too well off.  I can handle being wealthy, but I dislike showing that I am to anyone.  It’s an interesting insight for me to realize since it really does guide a lot of my reluctance to spend money on some things, even when I do need or want it.  It’s the reason why I own a small car and wear my clothes until the actually start to wear out and why I’ve delayed buying an ebook reader for four months when I could pay for it today with barely a dip in my monthly savings.

So where did this shame come from?  Well I’ve personally watched a few people in life that have been well off and the problems that came with being well off and having others know about it.  In one case it caused a family rift between two relatives for about five years over a loan that one co-signed for the other and then the other defaulted on.  In another case I literally watched someone be driven out of their hometown over being well off and everyone knowing it.  The person in question was constantly being bothered to give people money outright or invest in stupid business plans.  The constant stress of bad loans that were ruining relationships was too much and to solve the issue he moved away.

Up until recently I didn’t consider how those moments in other people’s lives have affected me.  Yet it obviously it has since I’m reluctant to show too much wealth to anyone.  This small fact drives a number of behaviours for me including:

• I dislike brand name clothes.  I won’t buy them, but I will wear them if someone else buys them for me.
• I have an aversion to being in upper management since I dislike wearing a suit.  Despite looking good in one and being able to afford a suit.
• I’m guarded with my face to face conversations with money.  I’ll discuss the logical side of it, but I won’t mention my own situation like how I want to pay off my mortgage in the next few years.  So as an outlet I discuss money on blogs including this one.

Yet I’m trying to achieve financial independence  which can potentially be one of the bigger displays of wealth out there.  So what gives?  Well that is a bit easier to understand.  You see if you doing something that appears to be a job, regardless of how poor you do, will outwardly explain the income.  People often don’t look past the obvious.  So this explains a bit of my drive to have something of a ‘job’ post retirement, yet at the same time I don’t plan for making any money at that job in my retirement plan.

It’s interesting that in personal finance we like to say you should suppress your emotions in a lot of decisions, but it’s your emotions that direct a lot of your behaviour in the non-obvious parts of your life.  So in my case my shame of showing wealth drives a lot of my low spending habits which in turn feeds my savings rate.  At the same time that shame can prevent me from enjoying my money to a degree if I’m not aware of the issue and try to over ride that response once in a while.

So do you know what emotion drives you with your money?  If you know, please share.

Last week I was thinking about this post and I realized I really shouldn’t wait until I retire to get involved in politics. I’m not sure if I was going to like it, but I figure I should look into it.   Since the civic election nomination period was on, I decided to give my local public school board representative a call and find out how much work was involved in doing the job.  He happened to mention that he wasn’t running again so I started to give the matter some serious thought.  That was last Thursday.

Last night I had it confirmed:  I won by acclamation.  If you had told me getting this job involved this little effort I would have laughed at you last week, but that’s the way it happened.  So now I have a new title: politician.

Strangely enough getting the job is fairly straight forward.  I had to just do the following:

1. Pay a $100 deposit, which you get back if you win or get at least 10% of the vote.
2. Get 10 signatures from those that live in the area in which you are running (they don’t even have to vote for you).  This was much easier than I would have guessed.  Just asking around at work got me a few and a couple of chance meetings got me the rest in just two days .
3. Submit a candidate profile (150 words) and head shot picture for the election website.
4. Do one interview with the local paper (15 minutes by phone).  That was published on Tuesday.
5. Worry and wonder how hard running a campaign was going to be.

To be honest I’ve done more work to get my day job (other than the worrying).  Then the nomination period closed last night.  By the time I had left work I had suspected I might have won, but I was waiting for official confirmation from the elections staff.  I had that confirmed by about 7pm, which make this now the second time I got a position by acclamation.  The first time was Chair of my local Engineering Association branch when I was living in BC.

On the entire affair I’m a bit torn.  On one hand I’m thrilled I won in under a week from the minute I started thinking about it.  On the other I’m a bit disturbed that no one else in my entire subdivision cared enough about our schools to run against me.  People like to complain about taxes (often very loudly), but when it comes to being able to influence how they are used they run and hide.    It’s a bit strange really, but I suppose not everyone is prepared to live in the public domain (ironically posting my net worth on this blog for the last three years has helped me prepare for that).

Now my Tuesday nights during the school year is mainly spoken for the next three years of my term which starts in November, but on the other hand I do get paid.  I’m not sure exactly how much but I seem to recall finding a document that maximum a member of council can earn is around $23,000/year.  But when you consider a Member of Parliament pulls down $157,731 (from MoneySense Oct 2009 edition), I’m a bloody bargain regardless of what they pay me.

A general question for everyone: do you worry about money?  If so, why? What is it you fear?  Please give your answer in a comment.

I’ll go first.  I’m increasing less worried about money as I get older.  I used to worry a bit, but now I’ve built up a significant savings pool I’ve realized if I get laid off and I can’t find a job for a while that I will be fine.  I might consume of a large amount of my savings, but I can be out of work with no EI and still cover two years of expenses.  That’s provided a huge sleep a night factor that has reduced my old worrying habit done to nothing.

I used to fear not being able to provide for my family.  Since I’m the major income earner in the family I feel compelled to look after them.  So perhaps that is part of why I save.  I save to provide in case I can’t (yes insurance helps in some cases, but I still worried back then).