So last night I lost my re-election bid for the Regina Public School Board and not just by a little, but rather the winner had double the votes I did. I just got crushed. How am I feeling? Well like any person I’m a bit upset by the entire thing, you do put in some time, money and effort into running a campaign, so to see it was for nothing is disappointing. That’s the down.
Yet at the same time I have to realize something important. I only thought I wanted to do the job again. My heart and full effort wasn’t into the campaign from the start. I let myself lose this election, not really at a conscious level, but on subconscious level I certainly did. Why the hell would I do that? I’m tired. It’s been three years now of me running around doing three jobs and I can’t do it anymore. I enjoy all the work I do, so that is why I found it so hard to let go of any of it on a conscious level.
In the end I couldn’t decide what job I enjoyed more: writing or the board work. So I let fate decide by running a minimal campaign. If I had won, I would have likely stopped some of the writing I do. Yet I did lose because in the end I think I had to let go of the board work. I enjoyed the board work and learned so much about business, working with people, public service and politics. Yet for sake of my family, not mention me, something had to give. Four more years of this would have been a recipe for disaster. I was stretched so thin I was becoming transparent.
So now I’m on the up as I realize I get to celebrate not a lose of an election, but rather gaining back 10 to 15 hours a week of my time. I no longer have the stress of making the big decisions about school closures, strategic student achievement targets, or lobbying the provincial government for funds. I get to worry about the education of only 2 kids (my own) rather than 20,000 of them.
While I’m still mourning the loss of that part of my life I’m looking forward to other adventures. I’m still paying off my mortgage next week and I’m still saving for early retirement. Perhaps with a little time I’ll realize what I’m just starting to feel: I’m happy I lost.
Have you every been in a situation where you thought you wanted something? How did that turn out for you?