Posted by Canadian Dream on September 22, 2011
Hi, my name is Tim and I’m a stuff addict. If you have any doubts I do get irrational cravings to go buy stuff even when I know I don’t really need (and sometimes even want) the item in question all that much.
Stuff fills my home in all sorts of ways the primary guilty parties are books, movies, and tools. While I’m ok with getting rid of some stuff, like clothes. I’m horrible about getting rid of books and I found it almost painful to purge my book shelves a while back. So that is the problem and I’ve got a solution for it: stop buying stuff.
Simple, eh? But actually doing it is going to be a hell of a lot harder. So I’ve devised a challenge to help me break the stuff habit. From today until the end of the year (Dec 31, 2011 at midnight) I can’t buy stuff for myself. No more DVD’s, books, or even a single screwdriver. Does this mean I won’t be spending any money? No, I can still buy experiences (dinner out, attending a play or attending a home tour) and consumables that I can reasonable expect to use up during my experiment (so yes I can buy food, the odd coffee out or shampoo).
Yet like all good challenges I’m putting in a few safety valves to cover myself on a few particular issues that are going to come up during the rest of the year.
- I can still buy presents. While I’m going to make an effort to at least consider alternative gifts that aren’t stuff I’m still allowed to break down and buy stuff for others. Try to image shopping for your three year old’s Christmas present and excluding stuff…I’m having a hard time coming up with any ideas.
- I won’t force my family to join me. While my wife has some interest in this experiment she isn’t entirely sure about the idea, so she won’t be formally joining this challenge. Also my kids are excluded on their allowance money as I’m just trying to get the idea of savings in their heads so I don’t want to introduce too much at once.
- I can still accept presents. I won’t be so brutal as to reject any Christmas present I normally get in because it is stuff. I will encourage people to get my consumables or experiences, but if I get a book from my kids I’m not going to yell at them.
- I can borrow stuff. So yes I can borrow books from the library or DVD’s. I can also borrow tools from other people if I need to.
- I get a get out jail free card. While I have tried to cover off any issues that could come up on this challenge I’m thinking I’ve missed something. So I get one free pass on buying a single item of stuff during the challenge. It will only apply once so I better be damn sure I NEED to buy it for some reason.
So while this challenge will keep stuff from coming in to my house, I still have to get some of the extra crap I already have out of my house. In this regard I will be trying to review what I’m currently own for stuff and sell, give a way or just toss it in the garbage. The end goal is to have more actual space in my house and less distractions in my life. To that end I will be purging one major area a month: my books and DVD collection, my garage and…drumroll please…the dreaded basement which includes the majority of my tools and other crap I’ve kept in storage over the years.
So now you can comment on just how crazy of an idea this is going to be or perhaps offer some tips on dealing with your own war on stuff.
Posted by Gwen on September 21, 2011
This is a guest post from Gwen in Ontario, who is 39 years old with a grown daughter, and is trying to rebuild her retirement dream just 20 years too late for early retirement.
I have made a promise to my self that I will be financially independent. I will pay off my debts and build the life I dream of.
Why do we lose focus sometimes? I know for me, it has been a long road (and still is) to find the answer to that. At times, life is smooth sailing, motivation levels are high, I can leap any hurdle in my path, I rejoice in every new way I find to lower expenses (both discretionary and essential), and I do it all with contentment.
Then there are the other days, the days that the drive through looks tempting for breakfast and a jumbo coffee. As this feeling persists, it is followed by a dis-satisfaction about life, perhaps some self pity, an urge to give up on the long term plan in favor of an impulse purchase (spa day, anyone?), and usually includes at least one restaurant “treat” (more than one if I don’t do something to get out of that funk). These are also the days that I find I am more sensitive to other peoples bad moods, making it even harder to take the bull by the horns and get myself back on track. During this time, I find myself focusing mainly on “what would immediately make me feel better?”.
I know these days happen to everyone, but considering the potential for damage to my financial plan, finding a way to minimize the frequency, duration and severity is important.
If I were to review the time leading up to these “days”, I think I would find some similarities with all the occurrences. Elevated job stress, not enough quality sleep, not eating a healthful diet, dabbling in some old unhealthy habits, a disagreement with a family member, not indulging in any interests or being too sedentary can all add up to a feeling of discord about life.
What makes me feel better during these times? On the surface, I’m lethargic, so I reach for some form of fuel for my body (caffeine, sugar, carbs), and perhaps buying something I don’t need (something that will distract me from myself for a while). This does not fix anything, in fact, I find it makes the situation worse. I am learning during these times to try to figure out what would “really” make me feel better. Am I sleepy? Do I need some time either alone or with a friend to do something to recharge my spirit? Do I need to monitor my food and drink intake to ensure I’m not running on chemicals that will cause me to crash?
I have started thinking about these days the same way as I would a physical ailment. If I had damaged myself by catching a cold or twisting my ankle, I would slow down for a while and give my body what it needs to heal. Now, I am able to recognize when my life is not in balance (the symptom being these “days”), and focus on a long term heal, as opposed to a band-aid made of take -out and unhealthy distractions.
Sometimes I don’t realize what is happening until spending has already begun, at which point it is time for damage control. I stop. I breathe. I can’t usually undo what I started (restaurants don’t give refunds for diner regret), but I can stop it and learn from it. Why did I do this? What can I do differently in the future? I take a step back. I get my focus back by taking care of me. I read my favorite blogs for inspiration. I look at my own progress as encouragement. I resume thinking before I act. I ease back into the routines that create smooth sailing again. A few small steps until I’m sure I’m on the right path again, but before too long, I feel I have life by the tail again.
So how do you deal with your ‘days’?
Posted by Dave on September 20, 2011
This is a guest post by Dave, who is also looking to retire no later than 45, but unlike Tim has no kids and doesn’t want any. Dave is from Ontario and is working towards his CGA certification.
For those of you that haven’t read my previous posts on my current living situation (here was my post in June, and my post in August) I currently have my 24-year old sister living with me. As you may be able to surmise from the title of the article, the end of this arrangement is near. After several discussions near the end of August, my sister decided that she couldn’t live with the rules that my wife and I had imposed and would be much happier living on her own. As of November 1, my wife and I will be regaining our guest room. On the flip-side, rather than living for free and having the opportunity to pay off her debts, my sister has decided to pay $750 per month in rent to live in a basement apartment.
My wife and I knew that it would be difficult for my sister to follow the rules, but we thought she would last 6 or 8 months (somewhere around Christmas), rather than the 6 weeks she ended up lasting.
On one hand, we’re disappointed that my sister was finding the experience so unbearable that she would rather leave and live with a significant number of debts than live with the rules we had laid out. On the other hand, my wife and I have found that we are not “roommate” people – we value our independence and realize we were taking the freedom we had for granted prior to the our current situation.
So, what went wrong with the situation? I think that there were two main reasons why the situation didn’t work out:
- We were perhaps a little too strict money-wise than my sister was able to accept. Part of the reason we were so strict was to teach her how to stick to a concrete financial plan that she would be able to translate into something that worked for her when she moved out by herself. Another reason why we were so strict was we placed a certain value on what we were giving up by having my sister live with us and we expected her to “pay” us back by getting rid of her debt as soon as possible.
- She wasn’t ready. The entire time she was living with our rules, she was resenting us for being so hard on her, rather than looking at the opportunity she was given. I think that after a few years to mature, she will (hopefully) realize that we weren’t being “mean”, but were trying to help.
We realize, that we could have relaxed the rules and allowed her to stay with her own rules, but we didn’t really want to enable her out of control spending, while resenting her for being in our home where we were doing fine prior to her moving in.
So, this little social experiment has come to an end. My wife and I are counting down the days until we regain our freedom, and I’m sure my sister has a similar countdown on the go.
Would you have relaxed the “House” rules in this situation?
