Posted by Dave on December 15, 2009
For me, Christmas hasn’t really changed over my entire life, it takes place on different days (my parents divorced when I was 18) but in general the theme has stayed the same. The most important thing to me around the holidays is getting together with the people I love, whether it be on December the 12th or sometime in the middle of January when everyone can get organized. I like the food the drinks and the parties. I look forward to watching the World Junior hockey tournament that starts on Boxing Day every year and seeing people that I haven’t seen since Thanksgiving.
My favourite memory from when I was young (probably 10 or 12 years old) was sitting around the kitchen table by the roaring fire-place playing a board game (The Farming Game) and listening to a play on the stereo (Letters From Wingfield Farm) with my family – eating snacks and just relaxing, having a quiet day at home with nothing to do. I couldn’t tell you what I got for Christmas for presents that year, in fact I can’t remember what I got last year either, but I can remember that afternoon (and many like it) from almost 20 years ago.
I think about how easy that afternoon was to organize (no organization at all) those afternoons and contrast that to the people I see roaring around the mall with three to five page lists of presents to buy for friends and family and wonder how much enjoyment these people are going to get from spending all the money they are going to spend. Everyone has seen the VISA television commercials where people’s credit card bills magically disappear – what the credit card companies won’t show are the people paying for Christmas until next spring because they decided someone needed a special “thing” that was not affordable to them at all.
It seems that the holidays have become much more commercialized in the past 10 or so years, with the introduction of such things as super-expensive video game systems and fancy electronic toys. “When I was younger there was no such thing as fancy electronics” (In the words of an old curmudgeon) – I didn’t own a video game system until I was 13 or 14 (which I bought for myself) and at most got a few toys that probably cost around $10-$15 each. Fast forward to today when even cheap toys cost around $30 and I can understand why people go broke over the holidays.
I recently had a discussion with my wife and was talking to her about the cost of toys and how many toys we were giving to kids and how they wouldn’t even realize that we bought them this awesome “thing” because they are getting 20 awesome “things” to go along with it. Remembering my favourite Christmases, it definitely wasn’t the forgotten toys that made it special – it was family, food, and laughter. If more time was spent thinking about that then running around to malls, maybe people would be a little less stressed (and broke) at the end of the season – putting a little less emphasis on presents and a little more on visiting and fun.
Do you have any special memories/ideas for Christmas fun? Can you remember any awesome toys you got when you were younger(maybe jog my memory)?
Posted by Canadian Dream on December 14, 2009
I generally believe that regret is possibly the only nearly useless emotion that we experience. The reality is what happened is done and you can not change that, but people still dwell on it. I was watching a movie last night that seemed to have a theme of regret. So it helped propel my mind down a path that I so rarely visit I figured I would share the results of some of my late night musing.
I don’t actually regret much related to money but there are a few items that come to mind. So here is my list of money related regrets that crossed my mind last night:
- I wish I would taken on a job not for the pay years ago. I’m so enjoying my second job as a Trustee that I wish I would had the idea earlier. I’ve taken jobs where money wasn’t that important, for example, I took a $20,000/year pay cut to move back to Regina. Yet in all those jobs the money was still partly a factor. The Trustee job was the first one where money didn’t matter at all.
- I wish I would have been braver to start my own business. I had ideas over the years but generally fear kept those ideas in check. I think it was lack of any supports to travel down that path earlier in life that kept me back (beyond the fear). I really only learned about a small business once my wife went to open a daycare and now realize it isn’t that hard (not to say it is easy, but it is not impossible either).
- I wish I would have realized earlier that happiness is just as important as money. I think perhaps I wasted a lot of time doing many ‘what if’ analysis on too many things before I realized that in the end the numbers are only part of the answer. It’s ok to do something that isn’t the most logical as long as you know that. Being happy is important even if you have to work a couple of years longer.
So what have you regretted related to your money? If you feel like sharing leave a comment.
Posted by Canadian Dream on December 11, 2009
Ok, I have a confession. I don’t think my wife and I have ever argued over money. At least I can’t recall a single argument. That’s not to say we don’t disagree about things or talk about how to do things but the reality is we never raise our voices about it.
I just assumed for a while that most people didn’t argue about money, that is until I started discussing the issue with others. I’ve been surprised by how most people I’ve talked to about this recall having some arguments over money. Then I did some searches on Google and realized that arguing over money seems to show up on a lot of top five and top ten argument lists.
So what the hell makes a marriage functional about money? Well here’s what I’ve noticed seems to work in my marriage.
- Address Imbalances. The reality is your income situation will likely be off balance. One of you will make more than the other. In my case I take home now about ten time more than my wife. Yet I don’t believe for a second that entitles me to anything other than half of the decision making power. Just because I make more doesn’t entitle me to more of a say since money is only one input into a relationship.
- Play to Your Strengths. I’m a long term thinker, so planning for an early retirement comes natural to me. My wife on the other hand does not do long term well, but she is the short term expert. She has all the birthdays on the calender and makes sure we start talking about next years vacation in order to book things. She reminders me about swimming lessons for the boys and a visit with friends. So I don’t try to do what she does well and she inputs ideas on early retirement but let’s me do all the math. We respect what the other one is good at and let them take the lead on some things.
- Address Emotional Issues. Money isn’t just money. It’s also got memories, hopes and fears attached to it. You have to recognize that fact with your spouse and deal with these irrational moments that come up. Also you need to address both of your dreams with money over the long term. You might want a new car and your spouse may want a new trip, but you need to plan for both.
- Set Common Priorities. You have to have a common set of priorities to really excel together. I know, for example, we both value our kids more than my account balances. Should an emergency come up I won’t even pause to drain every savings account and max out my line of credit. I’ve already did it once when our first was born ten weeks premature. So we don’t ever argue about the big items in life. We know what the answer will be.
Well that is what seems to work for my marriage, what works in your relationship?
