Our salary split is about 65/45 with my husband earning more, however all the cash goes into one account. We’ve never done the his/hers/ours division. For many couples that works, but to us money kept separately would feel odd. When we first married I was still in university with virtually no income so pooling our resources just made sense. Perhaps couples who merge finances after being independent for many years are more comfortable keeping things separate. I think our completely merged finances are having a positive impact on our early retirement plans. Every week I determine the maximum I can transfer to our RRSPs or to make an extra mortage payment. If we each contributed a fixed amount to savings, any extra we happened to have would be hidden from view in personal accounts and enevitably consumed with personal spending. This way every dollar that wasn’t required for basic expenses is plainly visible and as a result our savings are considerably higher.

Perhaps the reason our system works well for us is because we’re completely on the same wavelength about how we spend, or don’t spend, so there’s no feeling of “getting approval” for spending or resentment about the things we chose to do without in favour of our real priorities. I have no need of a special hidden stash so I can spend without him being aware. Frankly I rarely spend on anything that isn’t groceries or gas. We put $60/wk in our budget for planned miscellaneous spending. In 2009 that totalled $3120 (52x$60). We actually took out the planned amount in 16 weeks, or $832. I often have a $20 sit in my wallet for a couple of months before I have a need to spend it. We just aren’t spendy people. We stay our of stores unless we need something. Our gas, groceries, phone, cell, internet all go on our CC to get the miles and I pay it off weekly to stay on top of tracking everything. Clothing is normally received as gifts and doesn’t get a line in the budget. We reuse, buy second hand, and generally don’t buy anything that isn’t a replacement for something that is broken. We’ve achieved a weird balance that works for us. We completely skip things others consider basics (cable, new vehicles, giant TVs etc) and instead live simply, save for early retirement. Our one splurge is to travel extensively with our kids now, rather than waiting for retirement. For us frugal living on a daily basis followed by month long trips to Europe is just a reflection of our priorities and a refusal to keep up with the Jonses.

It’s a good thing we don’t all value the same things otherwise there would be no marked down produce when I get there and my favourite destinations would be even more crowded! Here’s to all of us recognizing what’s actually important to us and not just buying in to what we’re “supposed” to do.

Works?!? Mmm, I won’t have guessed on that one for a relationship, but what the hell.

Guinness,

Oh, good point. That is a common problem of one person doing all the planning. That would create a lot of possible resentment.

In our case, I do a lot of the planning, but my wife still involved and frequently changes shorter term objectives for us. Case in point once the mortgage is gone she wants some more cash to travel. I said: ok and we worked out a rough number.

Tim

What works for us is keeping our chequing accounts separate. We’re both grown-ups so as long as we contribute our agreed target amounts to our (shared) savings and investment accounts the rest is anything goes. I don’t want to be one of those couples that call each other for “permission” to exceed some notional entertainment budget or buy a cool toy or whatever. We also have separate priorities beyond our common ones – my husband supports his mother to a large degree, for example.