Comments on: I’m Ashamed of Being Wealthy http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/2009/11/16/im-ashamed-of-being-wealthy/ Wed, 08 Feb 2012 17:31:40 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: zud http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/2009/11/16/im-ashamed-of-being-wealthy/comment-page-1/#comment-36481 zud Mon, 30 Nov 2009 18:02:42 +0000 http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/?p=1130#comment-36481 nobody likes a show-off, there's a difference between buying a fancy car and just driving it, and buying a fancy car and driving it around town honking the horn. on the one hand you deserve the rewards your situation has brought you, but you can't ignore human jealousy. i assume you feel ashamed b/c you feel you have superior wealth to those around you. what if you ran with a crowd that had identical or more wealth? would you still have to hide your rewards or feel ashamed? probably not. buy the brand name clothes if you think they are good value and quality for the money, but if you are buying them to have GUCCI emblazoned on the front then you are really buying them to show off and you're going to get flack for it. you just have to know when to be humble and downplay, or when its ok to have someone be privvy to your situation. nobody likes a show-off, there’s a difference between buying a fancy car and just driving it, and buying a fancy car and driving it around town honking the horn. on the one hand you deserve the rewards your situation has brought you, but you can’t ignore human jealousy.

i assume you feel ashamed b/c you feel you have superior wealth to those around you. what if you ran with a crowd that had identical or more wealth? would you still have to hide your rewards or feel ashamed? probably not.

buy the brand name clothes if you think they are good value and quality for the money, but if you are buying them to have GUCCI emblazoned on the front then you are really buying them to show off and you’re going to get flack for it.

you just have to know when to be humble and downplay, or when its ok to have someone be privvy to your situation.

]]> By: Michael - Fat Loss Tips http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/2009/11/16/im-ashamed-of-being-wealthy/comment-page-1/#comment-36427 Michael - Fat Loss Tips Sun, 29 Nov 2009 16:36:36 +0000 http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/?p=1130#comment-36427 Be proud my friend... I agree with your 3rd point about face-to-face type dealings though, especially those who have no idea regarding the basics. I feel like I get preachy so I try to keep these conversations limited. Mike Be proud my friend… I agree with your 3rd point about face-to-face type dealings though, especially those who have no idea regarding the basics. I feel like I get preachy so I try to keep these conversations limited.

Mike

]]> By: Financial Samurai http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/2009/11/16/im-ashamed-of-being-wealthy/comment-page-1/#comment-36420 Financial Samurai Sun, 29 Nov 2009 14:37:18 +0000 http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/?p=1130#comment-36420 I'm not ashamed, and neither should you. Reveal only the tip of the iceberg to others, but keep everything hidden. I’m not ashamed, and neither should you. Reveal only the tip of the iceberg to others, but keep everything hidden.

]]> By: Dave http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/2009/11/16/im-ashamed-of-being-wealthy/comment-page-1/#comment-36395 Dave Sun, 29 Nov 2009 02:24:46 +0000 http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/?p=1130#comment-36395 The best way I have found to move past outdated beliefs is to "anchor" yourself to your new belief. If you want to take pride in your fugality, write 25 times a day for 21 days your new belief. "I am proud to be frugal" or "I am pround to be understated and take personal pride in my understated wealth" It will amaze you after the 21 days how you truly move beyond that old belief and embrace your true value towards money. Dave The best way I have found to move past outdated beliefs is to “anchor” yourself to your new belief. If you want to take pride in your fugality, write 25 times a day for 21 days your new belief. “I am proud to be frugal” or “I am pround to be understated and take personal pride in my understated wealth”

It will amaze you after the 21 days how you truly move beyond that old belief and embrace your true value towards money.

Dave

]]> By: Kathryn http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/2009/11/16/im-ashamed-of-being-wealthy/comment-page-1/#comment-36309 Kathryn Fri, 27 Nov 2009 14:20:43 +0000 http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/?p=1130#comment-36309 Wow. This was really well written. It identified so much of how I feel. It was better than a therapy session! I thought I was alone in these thoughts. I do the same things in terms of driving a small car, living in a small house, not buying name brand clothes for myself or my kids. I just didn't understand the depth of the 'why' until reading this. Thank-you for sharing. As a follow up, how do we move past this? Wow. This was really well written. It identified so much of how I feel. It was better than a therapy session! I thought I was alone in these thoughts. I do the same things in terms of driving a small car, living in a small house, not buying name brand clothes for myself or my kids. I just didn’t understand the depth of the ‘why’ until reading this. Thank-you for sharing. As a follow up, how do we move past this?

]]> By: Canadian Personal Finance Blog » Blog Archive » Random Thoughts: For a Parasitic Website http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/2009/11/16/im-ashamed-of-being-wealthy/comment-page-1/#comment-35829 Canadian Personal Finance Blog » Blog Archive » Random Thoughts: For a Parasitic Website Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:52:24 +0000 http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/?p=1130#comment-35829 [...] at 45 is Ashamed Of Being Wealthy ? Son, if you are ashamed of money, send it my way, I wish to feel your [...] [...] at 45 is Ashamed Of Being Wealthy ? Son, if you are ashamed of money, send it my way, I wish to feel your [...]

]]> By: Canadian Dream http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/2009/11/16/im-ashamed-of-being-wealthy/comment-page-1/#comment-35703 Canadian Dream Tue, 17 Nov 2009 12:28:01 +0000 http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/?p=1130#comment-35703 Dana, I rather like what my parents did growing up. They never gave me hard numbers. I never knew exactly what my dad made other than "enough" or how much in assets my parents had. I only learned some details after I was a teenager and could understand that information was private. Deegee, Congratulations on your retirement. Actually that isn't a bad idea to hang out with older folks. They would understand. Middle Way, I agree that it is nice to be able to discuss money openly on a blog. Feedback can be hard to come by in real life. Syd, You could be onto something. It is possible that it's typically to have an aversion to showing off too much wealth as a early retiree. Or something similar. Too bad I can't do a survey with a large group to find out. Joe Snow, We've only lent money to family once and I offered for a very specific reason which I won't be doing again in the future. It hasn't been a great experience to date. Tim Dana,

I rather like what my parents did growing up. They never gave me hard numbers. I never knew exactly what my dad made other than “enough” or how much in assets my parents had. I only learned some details after I was a teenager and could understand that information was private.

Deegee,

Congratulations on your retirement. Actually that isn’t a bad idea to hang out with older folks. They would understand.

Middle Way,

I agree that it is nice to be able to discuss money openly on a blog. Feedback can be hard to come by in real life.

Syd,

You could be onto something. It is possible that it’s typically to have an aversion to showing off too much wealth as a early retiree. Or something similar. Too bad I can’t do a survey with a large group to find out.

Joe Snow,

We’ve only lent money to family once and I offered for a very specific reason which I won’t be doing again in the future. It hasn’t been a great experience to date.

Tim

]]> By: Jon Snow http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/2009/11/16/im-ashamed-of-being-wealthy/comment-page-1/#comment-35667 Jon Snow Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:05:54 +0000 http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/?p=1130#comment-35667 I am pretty sure no one is aware of the extent of our net worth. Our parents know about our real estate assets... but I don't think anyone knows that we save more than 50% of our incomes and that our cash savings now consists of several hundred k's... and thats how we like it. Family members approaching us for money is our worst nightmare... I am pretty sure no one is aware of the extent of our net worth. Our parents know about our real estate assets… but I don’t think anyone knows that we save more than 50% of our incomes and that our cash savings now consists of several hundred k’s… and thats how we like it. Family members approaching us for money is our worst nightmare…

]]> By: Retired Syd http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/2009/11/16/im-ashamed-of-being-wealthy/comment-page-1/#comment-35663 Retired Syd Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:17:24 +0000 http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/?p=1130#comment-35663 I feel exactly the same way and that was one of the big challenges for me when I did retire at 44, that it was sending the obvious message that I had enough money to live the rest of my life without working. Maybe this feeling about money is part of the early retirement personality? I feel exactly the same way and that was one of the big challenges for me when I did retire at 44, that it was sending the obvious message that I had enough money to live the rest of my life without working.

Maybe this feeling about money is part of the early retirement personality?

]]> By: Middle Way http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/2009/11/16/im-ashamed-of-being-wealthy/comment-page-1/#comment-35661 Middle Way Mon, 16 Nov 2009 15:33:42 +0000 http://blog.canadian-dream-free-at-45.com/?p=1130#comment-35661 I'm pretty extreme in that I don't like people knowing what I have ie. a cottage, ski condo, money in the bank. That's why I started blogging -- I needed an outlet about money and life. My husband feels it is healthier if I learned how to "toot my own horn" once in a while. He doesn't understand why I would feel ashamed to. I am not ashamed for having what I have, I just don't want to come across as a show off. I’m pretty extreme in that I don’t like people knowing what I have ie. a cottage, ski condo, money in the bank.

That’s why I started blogging — I needed an outlet about money and life.

My husband feels it is healthier if I learned how to “toot my own horn” once in a while. He doesn’t understand why I would feel ashamed to.

I am not ashamed for having what I have, I just don’t want to come across as a show off.

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