I have a 1 year old daughter. I’m still new to this parenting, but I’m getting the hang of it. It doesn’t have to be a lot of money, but it is a lot of work. Candidate #1 is correct to expect parenting to be a lot of sacrifice and work, and however much you think is reasonable, take that and double it.

Despite this, I do not regret having my daughter. Along with the unexpected sheer immensity of labour for and around her, I also did not expect the beauty I would find in her babbles and kisses. Have you ever smelled a scent that reminded you of home and warmth and love, like baking bread or a fresh-mown lawn, or after a spring rain? I feel like that whenever I step into her room or hug her. Everything permeated with her scent or sound or mess is precious in a way I cannot describe.

That being said, don’t think there aren’t many days when I envy spending a whole day watching a Star Trek marathon, or just tripping out the door for some air or ice cream or solitude. If there wasn’t a biological imperative to birth-or-get-off-the-pot, my husband and I would probably have put it off indefinitely, never quite getting around to it, and enjoying our lives just the way Candidate #1 describes. But those days will come again, after she’s grown up a bit. The initial furious investment in your own time and happiness will pay off as surely as a retirement account (even accounting for a Great Recession of the teenage years). Short-term pain for long-term gain.

But that doesn’t excuse the roaring offended masses who have been posting here. Other people living their lives in happiness does not minimize your own. In my bold, unsolicited opinion, if the Candidate’s lifestyle choices offend you, it is because YOU ARE SECRETLY UNHAPPY WITH YOUR OWN CHOICES. If you offended by that, go ahead and post some more evidence.

To roughly quote Jubal Hershaw, “Butting out of other people’s business is 80% of human wisdom”.

As for kids on weekend – we need to trade kids some weekend – both of mine are up at 6am on weekends.

I’m with you. Never wanted kids, spent the last 25 years of my adulthood having to explain to all my well-intentioned friends and family why that is. It’s funny that they don’t seem to find this line of questioning offensive, yet many find the actual answers offensive.

I think I would be a great parent, actually. I find it offensive that someone would only think it’s “OK” for me not to have them if I thought I would be a terrible parent.

I also find it offensive that someone would think marriage should only be reserved for people who intend to procreate. I don’t remember that being on the form. And there are plenty of elderly folks getting married that would probably be offended by that too.

I don’t actually think the purpose of life is to procreate. I think life is a gift and you squander it if you don’t try to find happiness in it. Each person’s road to happiness is different, and I think it’s offensive to call one person’s road more selfish than another’s.

Tim’s blog isn’t just about personal finance, it’s about finding your happiness. He challenges people here to make sure you’re not just saving for the sake of saving, but to know what makes you happy, and to tailor your finances to that end.

I retired at 44. That has helped my happiness very much. Was it easier to achieve without kids? Probably. Is that why I didn’t have them? No. I didn’t have them for the simple reason that I did not want them.

Blog Comment #2
You said:
I realize I can’t speak for the majority of couples, what I can speak about is the majority of people I know, who are married and do have kids, maybe I’m running with a weird group of people, but I think that that is the reason or the end-game of most marriages/unions.

I know of a few couples this has happened to, but most relationships were already on rocky ground, and having kids was a last ditch effort to bring them closer together. (Anyone who does have kids is laughing at this absurd thought right now!) These people are indeed selfish!

The request asked for topics on early retirement, happiness, or the environment. I wrote this more from a happiness perspective rather then early retirement, explaining my lifestyle and why I live it that way.
But you said in your post:
We as a couple are quite content in our lives
I don’t recall you saying you are happy. Maybe you could have wrote about how not having kids has allowed you to live your life full of happiness & self worth, travel, anything. I like reading this blog because it relates day to day life & peoples personal financial choices together – not their politics or personal beliefs. I say stick with the topic – Personal finance.

Joe Snow . . . Come out east, that 300K can but you a McMansion on a really nice piece of land and have some left over for a car.

The are piles of reasons not to have kids that aren’t selfish. Heck, even if they said the primary reason was they didn’t want to burden the planet with more people it’s almost acceptable. Even though that argument is a little out there, considering if we took all the people in the world and put them in Central America we could all live and have less density that some of the highest density cities in the world.

I also have 4 people in 1150 sq feet and I describe my place as average, not smallish. That’s 287sq feet per person; A little over half of what was described here.

$250K for kids. I agree here too that that’s dreaming. Sure if you support them until they are 30 and pay for all of their post secondary education then maybe . . . otherwise it’s far less than this in reality. That puts 20 years at 12500 a year per person. That would mean every family of 4 would have to make at least $25000 after tax just to pay for their kids. I’m sure there are piles of people out there that go on less and even have some money for themselves too.

Customers Revenge, you also make a red herring argument that the purpose of marriage and couples is ultimately to reproduce. This is proven false as it is in our primal nature, as males, to reproduce and move on to the next mate quickly and efficiently. Alas, we created the concept of marriage\common law etc in order to have the support of two adults in the child rearing process. Really marriage is not the driver for reproduction, but rather the driver for rearing the results of reproduction

In a way, even the purpose of living is to reproduce. Your attitude will make you extinct, so maybe that’s why there are more people who like and want kids than don’t. All the “I don’t like kids” genes die off quick.

The money/opportunity costs of kids is a red herring argument. Every choice has opportunity costs. Your choice to remain childless has the opportunity costs of not having a family. I’m sure you spend the money elsewhere: i.e., you do not have an EXTRA 250K because you didn’t have kids.

Anyway, it doesn’t seem that selfish. They pay taxes to school other people’s kids, they aren’t a burden. It’s just a choice.