Posted by Tim Stobbs on October 22, 2007
With retirement we achieve a freedom we really haven’t felt since childhood. We can do what ever we want and when ever we want (within reason and your budget). So with all this new found freedom comes a few issues around our relationships that we just didn’t see coming.
So in order to address these I’m starting a small series of posts about your relationships in retirement. First off I’m going to deal with the most important relationship: your spouse.
Let’s face prior to retirement we are often so busy we just don’t even feel we have time to argue that much. Between the kids, jobs, the house and your hobbies it feels like some weeks you can just mange to find some time for sex and the odd conversation with just the two of you. Now suddenly in retirement every little thing they did that set your teeth on edge is happening five times a day because your spending so much more time with them.
Regardless if you are retired or not, a good relationship is based on communication. In retirement, there is an added pressure because you are in a state where you can chase your dreams so it might be a good idea to confirm you both still have the same dream. Additionally in retirement, both of you are redefining your lives and it can often bring up some surprising emotions (similar to what happened after high school, but now you actually have money and time really mess things up). So here’s a little quiz to ask yourself about your spouse.
- The most important thing in my spouse’s life is?
- In retirement where does your spouse want to travel to?
- Does your spouse want to retire in your current location or move somewhere else? If somewhere else, where?
- Do you honestly think your spouse wants to spend most of their day with you in retirement? Or perhaps just half the day?
- What is your spouse’s most important goal or dream about retirement?
If you can’t answer those questions regardless if you are retired or not it might be a good idea to have you both try the quiz and then compare answers. You might surprise your spouse and yourself with the conversation that follows.
Tomorrow we are going to look at your relationship with your kids when you get to retirement.